Star News - September 2003

Star-News (Pasadena, CA)

September 11, 2003
Section: VOICES & CHEERS

Mothers' Club Annual Gala
Linda Hutchinson Staff Writer

Mothers matter at 40-year-old Mothers' Club Community Center in Pasadena. Two club centers provide free educational programs and services to mothers and their prekindergarten children, working to make families stronger by reaching out to meet the specific needs of isolated mothers in the Pasadena and Altadena areas.

Currently 175 families receive services that are in such demand, there is a waiting list to get in. For those families, the organization provides a home visit program.

But there have been some changes lately. The club has adopted a new slogan: "Strengthening the community one family at a time." "This is really what we're doing -- working with each mother to make long-term change in their lives," said development director Sarah Orth.

The club's Saturday gala will be a bit different from past years, as well -- awards will be handed out, and one of those awards will be given to a club "graduate." "I wanted to come up with a way to bring it back to the women -- to start a tradition of honoring one mother each year," Orth said.

The organization will now frame its special evening around an "Inspiration Award" -- given to an outstanding mother graduating from the program. This year, they will kick off the launch of the new award, and will also honor four other women for their contributions and the examples they have set for other women. This year's award winners represent the true spirit of the or ganization, Orth said.

The group's first Inspiration Award goes to Candy Garcia, who got involved with the Mothers' Club when she was looking for a preschool for her children four years ago. She was surprised when told she would have to stay on site to take classes and participate in discussion groups and counseling sessions, while her 3-year-old son and her 1-year-old daughter were in the day care center.

She confessed thinking to herself, "I don't know about this, but we'll see how it goes." She liked it. What does the organization do best? "Helping the parents learn more about the kids," through the parenting classes, said Garcia. "It's something you have to learn. We all think 'once you're a parent, you'll learn,' but that's not (necessarily) true."

Garcia also said group parenting sessions were helpful. When one mother tells of a problem, the other participating mothers can share their ideas, compare notes and learn from each other. Garcia, a nurse's assistant, said the staff at Mothers' Club encouraged her to continue her education to become a registered nurse. Garcia has just completed her first course toward that goal. But she didn't sacrifice time with her kids to do it. "I really feel good about my de cision," Garcia said. "Those years at Mothers' Club were times that I could say that I spent time with my kids. At the same time, I knew that they were also taking care of the kids, and I had that free time to myself to hook up with other mothers."

"I really felt like I belonged -- that I was accepted and (could) be nurtured and accepted," said Patricia Kocsis, who came to Mothers' Club in the early '70s on the advice of friend. "Having grown up in a dysfunctional family, and having a very low self-esteem," Kocsis loved being at the Mothers' Club, which was a place where she could build her confidence.

Kocsis rose from the ranks to become president of the organization. "Just to be recognized, and to find out I was very competent, capable... that really encouraged me to go to school," said Kocsis. "At that time in my life I could take that step because I had encouragement and support." Kocsis returned to college and went on to graduate school where she received a master's degree in social work. She worked at the Huntington Hospital Emergency Room for six years doing crisis intervention. For the last nine years, Kocsis has worked at Foothill Family Service in Pasadena as the coordinator of the Domestic Violence Treatment and Senior programs. She also oversees a Prop 10-funded, $1 million program, Early Esteem, which focuses on children, from infants to 5-year-olds.

"I was sort of in a gloom. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was sort of just existing," said Angie Barajas who, when she walked in the doors of Mothers' Club in 1964, was only 17 with four children 2 years of age and younger. Married at 15, Barajas had a set of twins and two other babies. "I didn't realize how needy I was, how hungry I was for just human contact and for someone to make me feel like a person again," Barajas said.

Mothers' Club transformed Ba rajas' life. "Once I started going there, I just couldn't stop going," Barajas said. She was a member for four years. Then-director Take Nomura en couraged her to go back to school. "She made me feel like I could do it," said Barajas, who went on to finish her high school degree, take classes in social welfare at Pasadena City College and Cal State L.A. For the last 20 years, Barajas has worked for the state as a parole agent.

Barajas said a lot of skills she uses on the job she got from Mothers' Club. "I feel like I should be honoring Mothers' Club, because of all the wonderful people that were there for me," said Barajas of her honor. "I just grew, and grew, and grew... I learned that everyone has something to offer this world."

"I came to Mothers' Club at a time in my life when I knew I needed to make many changes, but I didn't know to make them happen," said Wanda Wheeler- Jackson, who, in 1989, was at home with her preschooler. "Things were just frustrating for me, and it was a good place for me to escape... it gave me the time and place to focus on myself for a little while." Jackson went from coming three days a week to five. "On the days that I didn't get to come to Mothers' Club, I found that by noon, I was a really cranky mom!" Wheeler-Jackson said. Mother's Club created a frame work for her. "I could see that it was helpful for me," she said. "My stress level was way down on the Mothers' Club days."

Jackson said she benefited from the parenting classes and through talking with other mothers. "Everybody brought their experiences to the table, and we'd try different things," Jackson said of herself and the other moms. "It was an exchange of ideas. Your parenting tool box got a lot bigger."

Since Jackson had her first child at 16, she never finished high school. During her time at Mothers' Club, she earned her GED and became a registered radiology technologist. Current ly she works as the chief technologist and clinical coordinator at the Marcia Ray Breast Center at Glendale Memorial Hospital.

Jackson said Mothers' Club was instrumental in helping her reach her goals. "I knew I could back to school, but I was overpowered by inertia," said Jackson. "The little things I did at Mothers' Club was like starting the ball rolling. Once I got to rolling, I wanted to continue to do things."

When Ellen Knell moved to Arcadia in the 1960s, she had trouble finding people that were like-minded. Then she found Mothers' Club. "I'm sure that Mothers' Club changed my parenting for the better and resulted in my knowing so many wonderful loving, giving people from very diverse segments of society," Knell said. "The impact on me has been invaluable, mainly due to the wonderful people I met, and the wonderful start that Mothers' Club gave to all three of our children." Knell, a geneticist, went on to serve on the board of directors and continues to help the organization from the sidelines.

6 p.m. Saturday
The Pasadena Museum of California Art, 490 E. Union St., Pasadena
$150
(626) 683-5677

-- Linda Hutchinson can be reached at (626) 962-8811, Ext. 2611 or via e-mail at linda.hutchinson@sgvn.com